The key to being slim and healthy is actually to be happy, as when you are happy then everything else just slots into place and works. Over the next three posts we will go over the six needs of a happy person/dieter. I have covered numbers 1 and 2 before but I shall go over them again now and then do 3 & 4 tomorrow and 5 & 6 on Friday.
These are in order of importance so 1 & 2 are the most important.
So the number 1 thing that a happy person needs is certainty in their life. We all need to feel a sense of security that things are going to be okay. Certainty gives us peace of mind and assurance. Knowing that you have somewhere to sleep, something to wear, money to eat, a job to earn money etc.
We all crave certainty in our lives and use different behaviours to achieve that result. When you are feeling angry, stressed, worried or unsure then how can you meet the need for certainty?
Some people will use destructive behaviours to try and get certainty in their lives. For example, if you are worried about something and haven't got certainty and you eat something to feel better, the outcome can be that you'll end up overweight.
Now a lot of dieters I work with are 'control freaks' as they crave for certainty in their lives by trying to control everything. An overweight person is not actually out of control with their eating, they are absolutely in control of their intake. As they are in control, they can have what they like.
We all crave certainty in our lives but the way we try and get it can either be positive or negative. If you are trying get certainty by controlling everything then that is a very tiring way of living your life. It is also very tiring for those who live around you. The best way to get certainty is to have faith in yourself and actually be proactive in your life and take action.
However, the problem is that if you have total certainty in your life then life is stale, boring, and needs spicing up!
Therefore the biggest paradox in the human psyche, the 2nd biggest thing we all need, is uncertainty, because uncertainty gives 'spice' to life and stops life getting tedious.
I was absolutely a control freak a few years ago and I had the 'perfect' life with everything I wanted but I was bored and hence, I decided to get uncertainty by doing some really destructive behaviours, my advice now is if you are looking for some uncertainty in life then pick your behaviours carefully.
Uncertainty is linked to adrenaline as when you have uncertainty you get an adrenal response. Now this can either be through a positive excitement or a negative fear and the choice is yours! My advice is to go and do something that is really exciting and a challenge to you as that will give you some good times.
But lets look at food! It gives you both certainty and uncertainty and that is why it is so well used. Food is a fantastic sticky plaster to all areas of your life and is so linked in with emotion that unless you have a really good mix of uncertainty and certainty then it can be part of the paradox.
So lets turn this to you..have you got enough certainty in your life? Are you feeling relaxed and sure in life that you are going in the right direction, do you know where you are going in life? what do you want to do in the next 25 years? have you got the relationships you want and need? have you got everything that allows you to lay in bed at night without worrying about what is happening?
And then, have you got enough uncertainty? Are you having fun in your life? Is your uncertainty through positive behaviours such as mountain climbing, starting a new venture, learning a new hobby, travelling to new places etc or are you getting uncertainty through destructive behaviours such as starting arguments, having affairs, eating or spending on credit cards?
Because you cannot stop yourself trying to find the mix here, if you have 100% certainty then your will crave uncertainty, and if you have 100% uncertainty then you will crave the certainty.
Now the mix should be around 80/20 with certainty being the higher of the two and it is a good idea to look at whether you feel this is where you are.
There is a reason that roller coasters are so popular! You get the fear and excitement of being launched around and spun upside down BUT you also have the certainty that you have a good harness on that will look after you and get you back to the ground at the end.
I know that loads of you will be reading this now and know exactly that you are either bored in your life with something missing or feeling uneasy, worried and stressed with too much uncertainty. That just means you are the same as the rest of us. When I realised that there is a happy medium where you can have both then you'll find that automatically food is less of an emotional issue to you.
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