The Diet Guy

What If?

 

When people decide to do something then there is always a debate weighing up the benefit of doing it, the risk of doing it, the benefit of not doing it etc. etc. until the decision is made.

The key thing is to realise that when you decide to reduce your weight, you need to make sure you understand how you are going to deal with all elements of that decision.

Now I booked last October to take the family to Florida. Initially I wanted to go for 3 weeks and have a long break but then my list of 'What If's?' kicked in. This included 

When I Get Slim I Will Be Happy

When I was big I always believed that if I could just lose some weight and get slim then I would be happy. I used to stand in the bedroom crying thinking why can't I be strong enough to just stick to a diet for a few months and then everything will be perfect.

I had a great life, great job, family, cars, money and therefore all I needed to do was shed the fat suit and then I could jump over mountains and live happily ever after.

I used to daydream about being slim and how amazing it would be, I never thought if my only problem was that I was overweight and would be super happy otherwise then WHY did I get big in the first place?

The Logical Levels Of Change

  

To make lasting change you don't' just change the behaviour i.e. stop eating too much...

You need to understand that the behaviour of eating, or smoking, or drinking etc is a behaviour and isn't who you really are.

In life we have the logical levels of change which are

The Four Stages Of Dieting

One question I get asked a lot by people is do I still worry about what I eat. Do I fear being big again and do I only now eat sawdust and salad to stay slim. The answer, I am pleased to say, is that I eat normally now like other slim people do. I have loads of different types of food, some classed as healthy and some classed as junk food. The reality is I have now found my moderation and it has become a way of life for me. I also don't fear being big again as I enjoy being slim and I value my health too much to overeat and put the pounds on.
 
But to get to the stage where you just are slim and don't have to diet or struggle with your weight is a journey, but understanding where you are on that journey is a good sign that you are going in the right direction.

Booking A Holiday

Now is the time of year when people look to their holidays for later in the year, so you do a bit of research, decide where you want to go and when you want to go.

Usually you search the internet checking out the tour providers and the resort you want to go to, seeing what the temperature will be and whether their are any local excursions you fancy.

And then you make a decision and book it!

Now i'm sure you enjoy finding your holiday and get excited as you book it as you have something later in the year to look forward to....

Climbing A Mountain Or Running Down A Hill?

I was working with someone 1-2-1 last night who talked about their diet was like climbing a mountain and that they were at the bottom of the mountain and the goal was right on the top.

As they talked about the journey in store for them they were using their hands showing the uphill and difficult descent they were going to have to take. They talked about it like it was literally mount everest by the north face ascent!

But of course everything in life in terms of how hard and how difficult is merely your perception of how hard and difficult it is. I used to 'find it difficult' to get up in the morning but now I find it very easy as I have loads of fun things to get on with, therefore if you believe that getting slim and staying slim is either hard or impossible then you will go on to prove that to be true.

Life Is Short, Way Too Short Not To Be Happy Being Who You Really Are

Unfortunately I lost a family member yesterday which is obviously always a sad time but also a time for reflection and 'taking stock' of where you are and what life is really all about.

For me it has reinforced that life is short and fragile but a gift that generally we are under-appreciative of. As the quote says 'Life may be tough but better than the alternatives...' 

So next time you are concerned, panicking or ripping yourself to bits for why you are a bigger than you want to be, the next time you eat something and then feel guilty or put yourself down to the world then ask yourself will it really matter in a few years time.

The Cure For Obesity

When I was big I perceived myself as having this disease, every diet I tried I was trying cure this obesity that I had, and I thought once I found the diet that got me slim then I was slim for life. Now I meet a lot of people who do very well on diets and are convinced they will never regain the weight as they are now cured of the problem.

The reality though is very different, the reason for that is that being overweight it not a disease, therefore there is no cure for it. That may sound very negative but actually it really isn't! The good thing is that the reason we all became and become overweight is that we ate too many calories, that is a behaviour! and the good thing about a behaviour is that it is learnt and therefore can be changed.

Do It For You!

I talk to loads of people who have reduced their weight and maintain long term as ultimately, for me, it is all about getting slim and doing something more fun than dieting!

There are two things I always notice with people who have done really well and effortlessly maintain their weight.

Firstly, they enjoyed the diet! They enjoyed the trip to slimdom and when they got slim they enjoy being slim for all the benefits it gives them.

Being Judged By Others

I got an interesting mail from someone earlier who was saying how they had read an article about me in a magazine and how it could have damaged my reputation and what people thought of me.

It was a nice message and not meant with any malice but the reality is that I don't care anymore what people think of me! I spent twenty years worrying about others and what they would think of me, what they were saying about me and whether they liked me or not and used food as a sticky plaster when I thought that they didn't like me or were judging me.

And then the bigger I got the more I was convinced that people were judging me all the time for being lazy and overweight and when I used to eat in restaurants I was sure that everyone was watching what I ordered and offering an opinion on it.

Won'tpower

When I work with people 1-2-1 then the first thing we do is build a really good plan to get slim, this is all about finding their motivation for wanting to be slim and building a picture so bright and so colourful that they really want to get busy and trim down.

Needing willpower is a total myth to reducing weight, check out this article

But after we have done all that I explain won'tpower to them, won'tpower is the hidden thing in people that stops them losing weight, also called the 'What if?'

Going In Search Of What?

When I got to goal weight I had loads of loose skin. The majority of it was round my tummy, although I did have a lot of loose skin around my arms and legs, but by far the most skin I had was this apron of skin around my middle.

Now I would tell everyone that it was a great battle scar and that I had obviously done really well if I had loose skin but I hated it.

I used to stand in the shower pulling and stretching the skin and used to be paranoid that it was hanging over the top of my jeans and people could see it.

Food As A Displacement - Julie Maurice

Many years ago I used to smoke, I remember quite clearly how I started, it wasn't until I started work and noticed after a while that I was the only one at my desk all day, everyone else seemed to have other stuff to do that took them away from their desk and offered them a little variety, some holy ground, they were "on barley" as it were and could legally stop work and move around and chat.

I started to make myself more teas and coffees but got scandalised for skiving but what were these other women doing??? They were taking a cigarette break. Apparently everything stopped for a cigarette and it was all quite acceptable, so I started smoking so that I could basically take a few minutes out of the slog and boredom of my job.

It's Impossible To Keep The Weight Off

I was sitting watching the TV last night when on BBC One they were talking about gastric banding and whether to start 'banding' children under the age of 18 more as a solution to the obesity crisis.

There was a guy on there who had reduced his weight by loads after a band and was being interviewed and they were talking with his doctor and other experts about the problem.

The guy himself and one of the presenters said that it is impossible to reduce weight and stay slim long term and therefore banding and surgery is the only answer. Now impossible means it cannot be done! by anyone! If you therefore believe that something is impossible you will sure fire prove that to be true and put the weight back on.

My Eating Is Out Of Control

When I was a big guy I used to say that I was out of control with my eating, that I would just not be able to stop when I opened a packet of biscuits or a multipack of crisps, that when I opened a pack of eight crumpets I would eat two, then wait five minutes, eat another two, then wait ten minutes then eat another two before polishing off the remainder.

I would think my eating was out of control but actually it was quite the reverse, I was in total control of my eating, I could eat exactly what I wanted, when I wanted and as much as I wanted. By going on a diet then I was out of control, I was only 'allowed' to have certain things and therefore I was being restricted and told what to do and hence I used to rebel against the thing that was trying to help me.

Weapon Of Choice

I was chatting with someone last night who has put on about 3 stone (42 pounds) since they stopped smoking last summer. They were saying that they weren't sure why they had but they could link the smoking with the weight gain.

I then explained to them that I did exactly the same, when I stopped smoking I replaced cigarettes with polo mints and biscuits. When I was stressed I used to go for a cigarette but then I changed that to eating mints and doughnuts. Therefore I replaced one 'coping' mechanism with another.

Rear View Mirror

Generally when working with people they focus on what they don't want and what's past. If they have dieted for years and years (like I did) and failed time and time again then they believe they are destined to diet for the rest of their lives and cannot maintain goal weight without constantly dieting.

It sometimes can be quite hard to get people to understand that not wanting to be fat, not wanting to diet, not wanting to die, not wanting to be the big mum, not wanting to buy big clothes is actually a really bad motivator to reduce weight and hence I talk about the rear view mirror.

So imagine this...

Counting The Days Down To My Next Diet

When I was big and not dieting I was always planning when to start my next diet.

I would tell everyone that I planned to start it on a certain date and the result I was going to get.

I would plan it exactly and make sure that the night before I started my diet that I would eat as much as I could to make sure I was happy and full before the prison sentence started.

I used to plan to start my diets about a month in the future or at least the back end of the following week just to give myself enough time to eat inbetween.

Give Up What You Really Want

A lot of people will give up what they really want for what they really want right now.

And that is the culture we live in today, it is a society of have now and pay later which has ultimately led to a global financial crisis.

And it is the same with diets and food, it is very hard to get excited about living to 100 years old when someone is offering you a piece of cake or a night out...

Food As A Displacement - Julie Maurice

Many years ago I used to smoke, I remember quite clearly how I started, it wasn't until I started work and noticed after a while that I was the only one at my desk all day, everyone else seemed to have other stuff to do that took them away from their desk and offered them a little variety, some holy ground, they were "on barley" as it were and could legally stop work and move around and chat.

I started to make myself more teas and coffees but got scandalised for skiving but what were these other women doing? They were taking a cigarette break. Apparently everything stopped for a cigarette and it was all quite acceptable, so I started smoking so that I could basically take a few minutes out of the slog and boredom of my job.

What Specifically Do You Want ?

What specifically do you want with your weight? (not what you don't want)
 
Now if you look at this question then there are three keys elements which should explain why it is important.
 
The first thing is the word 'specifically', this means, be exact!
 
So don't say 'I want to be slim' 

To Succeed You Must Admit What You Are Doing Now Isn't Working

I used to work with loads of people who did the same diet again and again and again...

And each time they say it is just a little bit harder than it was the time before and the final result is never what they originally wanted.

But to do something different and succeed then you need to step back and be honest that what you are doing now isn't working.

Be Nice To Yourself And Others Join In

One of the biggest things I have noticed since getting slim is that now I am nice to myself and don't immediately put myself down and criticise myself that others also don't join in and aren't as 'nasty' and 'sarcastic' to me.

It was a real head trip for me when I got to goal weight as people started treating me like a total stranger and to be honest I was a stranger to myself and was finding my feet but as I have chilled out, relaxed, become as peace with myself then I have found that my true friends are stronger and those that couldn't deal with my change have floated away from me and I wish them the best in their lives.

Loads Of Goals With Your Eyes Still On The Prize

When working with people I always get them to visualise and want the big prize!

The prize of getting to goal weight having reduced their weight and how great they will be.

But if your only goal is that then it can seem a long old way away!

When I had 10 or more stone to lose I couldn't even start to imagine what it might be like to get to goal and although I wanted to find out a lot I needed short term goals that I could tick off and see the progress I was making.

Glass Ceiling And Glass Floor

When you think of your weight do you have a ceiling that you won't let your weight get above? and do you have a floor where you think you can't get your weight under?

When I was big I always believed I couldn't get less than seventeen stone (two hundred and thirty eight pounds) as I was big boned. I really believed that if I ever hit seventeen stone then there would be no fat left on me and I would stop losing weight.

I also had a ceiling limit of twenty five stone, I remember reading about being super morbidly obese was really not good for you and hence used to keep my BMI at just under 50 to make sure I was ok!

Blame Yourself...

 
I was working with someone over the weekend who kept 'blaming' themselves and others for getting big in the first place.

But what if it was no one's fault as such? What if it was just a fact of life ! Something happened and you learnt to use food to help with that problem and then over the years you generalised and distorted your behaviours and ate more and more and you got big.

But it isn't the end of the world ! And blaming anyone, especially yourself, is a waste of energy which can be channeled into enthusiasm to get slim and do some other more interesting things than diet.

It's Ok To Eat A Hamburger !

I was reading the news this morning about a diet company in New Zealand joining forces with a fast food company.

McDonald's teams up with Weight Watchers 

The interesting thing I found though was a UK based diet company is on the Internet saying how bad this is and how terrible a diet company is promoting junk food. One diet company which virtually everyone regains their weight on is attacking another company with the same failure rate!

Now my take on this is that firstly eating a hamburger is absolutely fine! If you want a burger and chips and it is part of a balanced diet then have it.

The Right Mindset Is Key

Having the right mindset is key to both getting slim and more importantly not dieting and just being slim!

We spend a lot of time planning the 'diet' itself and the exercise regime but how often do we really take a step back and look inside for a while at how to motivate ourselves.

1, Uncover what you truly want to achieve. We are bombarded with diet information from the diet industry, the press, the NHS and supermarkets. We are hit from all angles by magazines with what will make you happy and what waist size/dress size we should be. But make your own choices ! You must decide what you want and what happyness actually means to you. I promise you that being slim doesn't make you happy but that's a journey and lesson each person has to walk. But being slim allows you to do things in your life which will make you happy if you know what you want to do !

To Be Good At Internal Communication, You Need 4 Things

To be able to make changes in your life then you need to basically understand why you do what you do and change it accordingly as and when you need.

To be a good communicator with yourself you need 4 things.

First is to know what outcome you actually want, this means thinking what you want and not what you don't want. Therefore think and state in the positive what the outcome is you desire.

How Many Things Don't You Buy In A Supermarket?

Seems a strange question but just how many of the thousands and tens of thousands of items in your supermarket don't you buy each week ?

How many things have you just walked past and never thought twice about buying or even looking at them?

I spoke to someone last night who was saying how the problem was supermarkets were just full of junk food, that they sell cheap high fat, high calorie, crap food and hence that was part of her problem.

Diet Motivation Technique

This is a technique I use 1-2-1 with people to motivate them to get slim.

Ideally print this out and give it your full attention and really go at it 100% and you may be surprised by the results.

1. Stand up, relax your body, allow your shoulders to drop, close your eyes and take in a few deep breaths

2. Imagine a time and a situation in the near future where you are REALLY proud of your dieting success and what you have achieved.

The First Week Of Any Diet Is The Hardest...

I was chatting to a weight management professional yesterday afternoon who was also chatting to someone about to reduce her weight. The weight professional said to the dieter 'the first week of any diet is the hardest, just hang in there and try your best and then hopefully you'll be ok.'

Now not wishing to deconstruct the sentence but lets just say from a motivational point of view then the following is true.

1. You have just told someone that dieting is hard, therefore they are likely to believe that and find it so!

2. Hanging in there means you are struggling and needing willpower, again that is an assumption and a perception and the dieter is again going to be expecting to struggle!

Try...Try...Try Again (But Differently) - Claire

I made the decision to reduce my weight two years ago.  And for two years I have developed a great ability to make an excuse for any diet-defeating behaviour.  I have spent the last two years coming up with every excuse in the book for not sticking to my diet:  "its only one", "but it's a party", "I will start again on Monday".  If you can think of it, I have used it at some point in the last two years.  My inner monologue had become very adept at authorising my diet procrastination!
 
However, the feelings that can come with procrastinating: the disappointment in yourself, the (incorrect) belief that you just can't diet, that you are destined to remain fat for the rest of your life are feelings that no-one should live with.