It always has fascinated me when I work with people 1-2-1 that they are so determined to be slim, they will tell me for literally hours how motivated they are and how they really want it more than anything else in their life. They have also done their research and have found the perfect diet that fits their lifestyle and hence they are ready to get slim....
But then nothing happens....
Either they just don't reduce their weight or the motivation and all that brilliant enthusiasm just goes....
But the fact is, that there is actually some other reason for not doing it that is more important than getting on and doing it.
For example...
I had a lady who came to see me a few years ago now. She wanted to be slim because she was going to live abroad in a very hot country and didn't want to struggle with her weight and overheat because of her size, so wanted to be slim. For me, that sounded very reasonable and also a great goal, she talked about a new life and new body and it all was perfect.
She did her research and had found the diet she wanted to do, it was realistic in terms of her timescales and fitted in with her life very well, so all was good.
A few weeks went by and she wasn't actually losing any weight, I closed the door and had a chat with her as it just didn't add up.
What she said was that her husband didn't want her to be slim as he liked her to be big. When she was dieting, he used to make her life much more difficult and it would bring up relationship issues.
Effectively what she was saying was she had a choice, she could either stay big and have a quiet life at home, or more worryingly for her, she could lose weight and maybe...just maybe, lose her husband.
So you can see why she wouldn't lose weight. What would seem a simple task to just trim down for a few pounds could actually rock the foundations of her relationship and ultimately her life.
Before they go through something, people will always evaluate the rest of their life against it. If you want to be slim but also want to socialise and drink with your friends then you will make a decision on which is most important to you and then go and do that.
When somebody says that they are struggling to motivate themselves or lose weight then there is little point in chatting to them about why they want to be slim as that it very obvious! (for most). What I try and help them with is understanding what else in their life may be on the other side that is actually more important than being slim.
If I look at myself when I was big I valued being tough as part of being big. I felt that by being a big guy it offered me this protection, so when I was reducing weight I can remember numerous times being aware that I was getting weaker in my mind and debating whether I wanted to be slim or tough as I couldn't have both. I am glad that I decided slim and healthy was the best option and actually, the reality became startlingly obvious, why would I want to be a big tough guy who struggled to walk up a set of stairs?
So my question for you to ponder on is "What is really stopping you being slim?"
