The Diet Guy

Focus On The Solution

I would estimate at least 95% of dieters focus on their weight as a problem as opposed to focusing on being slim as a solution.

 

The more you focus on something, the more of an "issue" it becomes to you, the more you go and work on it. Therefore, if you are constantly trying to "think" your way out of being overweight, then you are just thinking about being overweight.

 

If you think about being overweight your mind will have to feel the feelings associated with that. These tend to be failure, guilt, anger, sadness etc and therefore you get depressed. Because you are depressed, you think "I know, have something to eat to cheer yourself up", that is what they call a vicious circle and one that I was in for at least ten years.

 

When you think about your weight, are you focusing on the problem or the solution? Do you think 'what am I not allowed to eat?' or do you think 'What healthy and tasty food can i have today?'.

 

When people have a weight problem they go in search of something to fix that problem, hence trying different diets. If you focused instead on what you needed to do to get slim, you immediately feel the nice feelings of what it would be like to be slim, you get enthusiasm and start to believe, as opposed to just looking in the mirror and beating yourself up.

 

I was really lucky as I had a holiday booked when I was on the diet. I just focused on being slim for that holiday. I didn't realise until studying this in detail that it was an absolute key point as every other diet I had attempted had been to get away from being big, hence, focusing on being big and not being slim.

 

I see a lot of people 1-2-1 and very, very few will say "I want to be slim" or "I want to be happy, healthy and get on with my life"...the majority say "I don't want to be fat anymore" or "I don't like the way I look" and therefore they are constantly thinking about what they don't want. The reality is that if they just changed their mind and saw all the positives and not the negatives, then they would shrink before they knew it.

 

So, how do you do it?

 

Get a piece of paper and write down all the good things about reducing your weight or staying at a healthy weight. Start focusing totally on what you want. Don't write anything that is negative, no i don't wants, i don't like etc.,  realise that you can be, and do, so much more than you think you can.

 

When you have a list of really positive things in the future to look forward to then start thinking about them, feel the feelings, picture yourself, make it so real in your mind that you can't stop smiling and you can feel the enthusiasm to be slim. Then, whenever you are having a "momentary" negative thought, bring those positive thoughts back and allow them to flow over the top.

 

Listen for the language you use. Do you say that you don't want to be fat, or do you say that you want to be slim? Language is key to how you feel. If you constantly knock yourself and call yourself a failure then you will take on all those feelings. Why not be nice to yourself instead, and think:

 

1. Ok, what do I actually want?

2. How can I get it?

 

And then, as always the key to all of this!.........

 

GO DO IT!

The Educated Dieter

I spend a lot of time working with people and it used to surprise me just how much they knew about diets! I knew a lady who could tell me the 'syn' values of literally any product I could ask her and yet she was very overweight. I used to wonder why, if she was so knowledgeable, that she wasn't slim.

 

And then one day I realised I was guilty of the same thing. I used to buy books and exercise equipment all the time when I was big. I remember paying £150 for an Atkins kit on the internet when it first came out and then didn't even open it. I just put it on the shelf next to all the other information I had but chose not to follow.

 

The reason people do it is because firstly, we like to be knowledgeable. It gives us purpose and self esteem by being able to advise others and offer an opinion, if you can help someone else then it makes you feel better about yourself.

 

The other reason, and the main reason, I used to do it is that if you are buying a book then you are planning and working towards being slim! Therefore you are on the journey to being slim and taking action so you feel good about it.

 

In December two years ago I take around thirty phone calls from people wanting to book themselves a 1-2-1 session in January! The reason is that they feel then they are doing something about their weight and so they don't feel so bad about being overweight.

 

But you can have the whole british library in your study or have half the Argos catalogue in exercise equipment in your garage but unless you actually use it then you haven't actually made yourself slim!

 

Now I obviously only work with overweight people and the one problem with being overweight is that you cannot hide it. I can remember when I was 25 stone telling someone who was about 13 stone how to reduce their weight and now I think they must have been wondering what I was talking about.

 

But I will sit with someone who is many, many, stones overweight and listen while they justify their position and tell me that they eat virtually nothing, don't have carbs or fat, or that they only eat 1200 calories a day. The reality is that if you eat less calories than your body needs then you must lose weight.

 

Therefore, being educated is great! But I have not many anyone who doesn't know what healthy food is. I have never spoken to someone who thought chocolate was healtheir than broccoli, therefore we are all educated in what is ideal and what isn't'. Food labelling has never been better in this country and yet we as a nation are getting bigger by the year.

 

Education is great! But if you are going to talk the talk, then walk the walk. Actually taking your own advice is the greatest sign that you were a truly educated dieter.

I'm Fat!....Is That All You Are ?

What is your name?

 

Now is that name all that you are or are you more than just that?

 

Because even the writing on your birth certificate is just a label of who you are and isn't the real you.

 

If I ask you what you really are, what the real you is, then I have yet to know anyone who can answer that. They usually put their hand on their chest and they have a feeling but they can't actually say who they truly are.

 

But yet we all choose to accept labels from others and also label ourselves.

 

I work with loads of dieters who label themselves useless, crap, worst dieter ever, fat, lumpy, chunky, gross etc etc but they are choosing to accept that label and in fact, create it.

 

But they realise that they are so much more than just FAT and that FAT is actually just a perception of who they are. Technically, you are made up of all sorts of things including WATER but do you go around telling people how WATERY you are!?

 

'Hi my name is Mike and I am very watery..."

 

Therefore give yourself a break! Stop labeling and beating yourself up for being overweight!

 

Most dieters have spent their entire dieting career labeling themselves negatively and not getting the results they want, so, do something different and stop doing that!

 

If you keep telling people how useless at dieting you are then guess what will happen? The same thing that has happened on every other diet you have done when you haven't got the results you wanted.

 

Now it took me a while after getting to goal weight to lose my FAT label, I still felt it applied to me! When people called me slim I used to want to reject it and justify that I could still lose a few pounds and that I had loads of loose skin!

 

But in hindsight I should have accepted the slim label as I was slim! I was slim but yet I somehow wanted to hang on to a label that was no longer me because it allowed me to sit in my comfort zone.

 

Therefore, today's advice is to stop labeling yourself! Unless of course you are labeling yourself lovely, great, nice or brilliant.

 

If you don't believe me then spend this week not labeling yourself negatively and see what a massive difference it makes to the way you FEEL...because remember, we try to be logic based people who try and diet based on facts, figures and regimes but the reality is we are emotional animals and if we choose to believe we are useless at something or bad at something then we will feel the emotions that it brings, therefore..... BE NICE TO YOURSELF!

The Lion

 

Imagine you are in a game reserve in Africa wandering about looking for some good pictures.

As you turn around you are confronted by a big lion! A lion very much as the picture above which is salivating and has you in it's mind for it's dinner...

On of a scale of 1 to 100 how much would you want to get away from the lion now?

Now you turn and start to run back to the safari jeep and manage to get about 10 metres away from the lion...

On of a scale of 1 to 100 how much would you want to get away from the lion now?

Now you get back to the jeep and dive in, you struggle to find your keys but at least you have the relative safety of metal between you and the lion.

On of a scale of 1 to 100 how much would you want to get away from the lion now?

Now you start the engine and start to drive away, as you start to move the jeep the lion is still running towards your jeep and still intent on having you for his lunch...

On of a scale of 1 to 100 how much would you want to get away from the lion now?

Now you are a few hundred metres away from the lion as you start to relax and go over what a near miss you just had...

On of a scale of 1 to 100 how much would you want to get away from the lion now?

And now you are back in the hotel, telling everyone at the bar at the lucky escape you had today from the big scary lion.

On of a scale of 1 to 100 how much would you want to get away from the lion now?

What this metaphor should show you is that the further you get away from the lion the less you are motivated to get away from the lion, to the point that at the hotel you don't really care about it anymore...

But a lot of people use this strategy for motivating themselves to be slim, they want to get away from being big (the lion) but by focusing on that the motivation gets less and less the slimmer you get, and at one point the motivation will be so little that you won't really care if you get there or not as at least you aren't standing next to the lion anymore.

The 'away from' motivation is used by the vast majority of dieters as works on very very few of them, instead of wanting to get away from the lion then a better motivation strategy would have been to want to get to the hotel bar and have a nice glass of water, the closer you got to the hotel the MORE you would have wanted it and would have been focussing on the good stuff.

So are you trying to get away from the lion?

Who Teaches Daddies To Mow The Lawn ?

I was mowing the lawn this afternoon on a gorgeous summers day when my little six year old daughter came out and asked me who teaches daddies to mow the lawn?

And it got me thinking (and smiling!), as I never went to lawnmower school, I never read a manual on how to cut grass or did an OU degree in strimming, I didn't even buy the DVD compilation of the best striping methods for your lawn.

What I did do was watch my Dad mow the lawn when I was a kid and I learnt from him and how he cut it, I learnt a behaviour and some thirty years later I mow the lawn the exact same way my Dad did back in the 1970's and 1980's when I was a kid.

I learn from my parents...and guess what, overeating is also a learnt behaviour, nobody was born overweight and nobody was born destined to be big, sure some people are bigger than others in body size, some people have slightly faster metabolism's than other and loads of other medical reasons for there being no such thing as an average but it is always a choice to eat too many calories.

Now back in the early 1980's I was at the modelling stage in my life where I did watch my parents, guardians, school teachers and peers and copy what they did, and that is when I learnt to use food to cheer up, it worked for me back then as I was so active at the same time that it was ok to eat a chocolate bar on the way home from school as I would have burnt it off quickly.

But some 25 years later I was still going with the same behaviours that I learnt as a kid and guess what, they had stopped working for me and suddenly I was a very big boy with lots of health issues.

Now the good thing is that you can decide to mow the lawn differently, you can decide to mow it round the edges and work inwards, you can start in the middle and work outwards, you can do stripes or even get a gardener to do it for you ! Because at any point you can decide to mow your lawn differently, you don't have to follow any rules if they aren't working for you.

My Daughter : Who teaches Daddies to mow the lawn?

Me : I decide how to mow it sweetie...

Book Review : Get The Life You Want

I love Richard Bandler's material, the thing I like most is that it is such an easy read and you feel like he is just chatting away to you while at the same time 'hitting your stuff' and really talking to you.

His approach is to just quickly deal with the problems and move onwards and upwards (and inwards!) and is a style I love. For me we spend too long focussing on problems and forgetting that we are only on the planet for a short period so live life while you can.

Just a note that with this book you also get a great CD which is ideal for listening to before bed and his voice definitely knocks you out quickly :-)

Very much recommended read from the father of NLP and is available from Amazon at Get The Life You Want

Be Unique, Just Like Everybody Else

I was up at 4:45am this morning and drove a 60 mile round trip to queue up for 3 hours to get a new iPhone 4. As I stood in the queue at number 58 of, I would guesstimate, about 500 people my phone went off.

It was a friend of mine asking me what I was up to, I said I was in the queue and they said 'What a geek you are...' and I replied 'Too right!'

Because I am who I am now and I don't ever make excuses for myself anymore. Yes I am a geek! yes I like playing computer games, I enjoy ten pin bowling, Yes I like watching re run's of Friends.

I like being a geek, I love technology and what it can do for you and I don't worry about what others think of the fact that I stood in a queue for 3 hours drinking coffee and chatting with fellow geeks.

When I was big I was so worried what the world thought of me, I used to be constantly in fear of being judged and people looking down on me. I would always sacrifice and take a dent to my own self esteem and deny the real me.

But it's a tiring way of living your life, by not being yourself and doing what you want to do and being proud of being unique then you are living your life by other peoples rules.

So I am now proud of myself, I love the fact that I am unique and I am quirky! I don't do normal anymore and I don't crave to be liked and loved by everyone, if you like me then great! if you don't like me then great! I am just being me and I urge everyone else to do the same.

A neighbour said to be last night 'I know I am sad but I really enjoy growing rhubarb and have loads spare if you would like some'..I immediately told them that they weren't sad at all and in fact I had a load of blackberries that I had grown and therefore we would do a swap and make an amazing crumble !

Be proud of yourself and who you are, and when you realise you have nothing to apologise for in living your own life by your own values then your self esteem will rise and you'll then find that you don't need to use food as an emotional sticky plaster anymore.

The Last Knotch On The Belt

I was in a cupboard at home last night looking for a holiday picture to show my friend and I found an old belt of mine from when I was big. It was a 56 inch belt with 6 notches on it going back down towards 48 inches.

Every knotch on the belt had been used as you could see the fold of leather where the metal spike had been.

That meant in the lifetime of that built I had gone from a 46 inch waist up to 54 inches which was when I was at my biggest.

Now I used to live on my belt size when I was big, I can remember desperately refusing to accept I was more than a 44" waist and used to not go up the notches and therefore I would visit the GP with stomach pains because I was wearing my belt too tight.

I would be in denial sometimes and think my belt was just sized wrongly and that I wasn't actually over a fifty inch waist and then it was just a number, somedays I would desperately try and get it back down a notch to prove that the latest fad diet I was on was working, and somedays I would just accept failure and allow the belt out to it's widest notch and then just pretend it hadn't happened.

I was trying to get motivated by notches on a belt, I was allowing a bit of leather and metal to control how I felt that day based on whether it was at 48 or 50 inches.

But at no point did I stand back and think ' If my waist is kicking around the 50 inch mark then probably trimming down is a really good idea'.

Reality checks sometimes are very hard to take, I used to have my head buried up my bum and tried to ignore the fact I was a ticking time bomb but sometimes you need to stand back from yourself and just realise that it isn't working.

Now this may sound stupid but I have no idea what size belt mine is now ! I know it is a medium and therefore I don't care what knotch it is on, in fact literally I have just checked and it is on the 3rd knotch of the 5.

Now I also know I am a 32" inch waist in my favourite  jeans but I have another set of jeans that are 34" and they fit fine too. But I don't panic if I wear the 34" ones that I am getting big again.

Worrying about knotches on your belt or what dress size you are is surely not that important and wasn't what you were born to do.

Needless to say the belt is now in the bin alongside the trousers they were on.

Lifestyle Change

A lot of people talk about how the key to being slim long term is lifestyle change and of course they are right. It is funny though that when you actually ask them what they mean by they either haven't actually come up with a plan or they just say 'I need to eat more healthy food and go to a gym'

Now usually as they say that there face looks really sad as they think they are going to eat sawdust and salad forever, and have to go to the gym every day or run round their neighbourhood if they have any chance of staying slim.

The problem is though that you will eat 'bad' food again, you will have weeks when you are so busy you can't do loads of exercise and therefore you need to make a mindset change on lifestyle.

A perfect example is a friend of mine who joined a gym at the start of the year, he was telling me he was going to go every morning before work and as he was telling me you could see he didn't want to. I asked him whether he enjoyed going and he said no but it wasn't a problem. When I asked him how he was getting on a month later he said he had been three times and then cancelled his membership shortly afterwards.

Therefore lifestyle change there didn't work as he tried to force it based on what he thought he should do. Now I had that, I joined a gym and hardly ever went because (SHOCK HORROR!) I actually don't enjoy going to a gym! I find it very boring standing on a treadmill watching a flashing red dot go around a circle. Therefore instead I play football, go bowling, walk down on the beach and generally get much more active than I used to when I was big. I always at work go and pick guests up from main reception as opposed to send my secretary, I race Ethan up stairs instead of using lifts and escalators and hence I have made lifestyle changes that actually fit in with my lifestyle and because I am happy to do it because I enjoy them then I keep doing them.

And it's exactly the same with food choice, when I go to Starbucks I like their blueberry cheesecake but I also like their skinny ginger muffins. Now because I don't mind which I have because I enjoy both of them equally then 90% of the time I have the healthier option. The key thing is though is that I don't feel deprived by having the muffin.

So if you are looking at long term slimness and don't want to continue to yo-yo and jump on and off a diet then you need lifestyle changes that you are actually happy to do. If you don't like salad or rice cakes then don't eat them! If you think a Big Mac is ten out of ten in terms of taste then you need to find another less 'junky' food that also gives you ten out of ten. The key is not to feel like you are always having 2nd best...as you deserve the best!

What's Missing In My Life?

When I was big I always said that I was really unhappy but only because I was big, and that if I was slim I would be this super happy guy.

 

I had everything in my life, a lovely wife, fantastic kids, nice house, new car, enough money to go on holiday and go away when we wanted, and I even had the dog to match the stereotypical perfect life.

 

So surely once I lost weight then I would go on and be gloriously happy? In fact, it was reported in the press that "Mike is now an ecstatic 13 and a half stone"....funny, because I wasn't!

 

The reality was that I was really unhappy. As I have said before, I was more unhappy when I was first slim than I was when I was big, because I could no longer turn to food to cheer me up and hence, I had a breakdown.

 

The problem I had was that I felt like something was missing in my life. I felt that I was 80% complete but I needed something more, and I hadn't a clue what it was but without it I felt lost.

 

I felt that I "should" be happy as others would give their right arms to have what I had, but even so, I really wasn't happy. Instead of eating to cheer up I just changed the habit to other outlets which caused even more chaos.

If You Can't Dream It You Won't Create It

A lot of time I spend with people 1-2-1 I am looking for why they do what they do, the reason is that people don't randomly do things, there will always be a good reason (to them) that they have a particular behaviour or characteristic.

 

Therefore one technique I use is the "As If" technique. Basically you can do it now yourself and hence this weeks newsletter is a practical newsletter that requires a bit of peace and quiet and some thought.

 

Now allow your mind to relax, just allow all the day to day "stuff" in your head to go quiet and just start to daydream what it will or does feel like to be slim, healthy and most importantly happy.

 

Make the thoughts as vivid as possible.

 

Firstly bring the picture or movie to the strongest it can be in your mind

 

Where are you?

Who are you with?

What can you notice around you?

How do you look?

What are you wearing?

How old are you in the thoughts?

 

Is the picture black & white or colour?

Is it bright or dim?

How big is the picture in your mind?

Are you in the picture or watching the picture through your own eyes?

Is it in focus?

Is it a movie or still?

Is it 3D or flat?

 

Now think of the sounds associated with your thoughts

 

Can you hear anything?

Is the sound loud or soft?

Is the sound fast or slow?

Is the pitch of the sound high or low?

 

Now think of the feelings associated with your thoughts

 

What feelings you can feel?

How strong are those feelings?

Are there any feeling you wouldn't expect?

 

Now really build the picture in your mind, if you want to change it go ahead but make the perfect picture that is just right for you on what you want to achieve.

 

Ok, one of two things will have happened here.

 

The first is you managed that absolutely fine and you have a big smile on your face as you have a vivid imagine or exactly what you WILL achieve and it just reminds you why you are doing everything you are doing. In which case absolutely great and whenever you need a reminder of the journey you are on then bring that image back up in your head, and remember it is fine to play around with it and add to it. Allow the great feelings you get from it to really make your day.

 

The second thing that may have happened is that you were unable to actually imagine it, which basically means if you can't even imagine it then the chances of actually doing it for real are low, therefore if you struggled with this what are the limiting beliefs you have about yourself that would stop you having great thoughts, what makes you think that you won't actually get to where you want to get to? It is through the answers to this that you can help yourself move on and also learn a lot about yourself which you can use to your own benefit.

The Beneficial Intent

I remember when I first understood beneficial intent that for me it was like a eureka moment and therefore I want to share the idea with you and hope you will also get great benefit from it.

If you think that everything you do, and I mean everything you do, has an initial benefit linked to it, then you can understand why you do what you do. Even if that action has a negative outcome then the original intent would have been beneficial.  

For example, if you have had an argument with someone then you might well go and grab a chocolate bar and eat it. You could just argue that it isn't a benefit so therefore why did you do it. But the reality is that the original beneficial intent of having the food was to "cheer yourself up" and hence your mind was trying to make you happier. The fact that ultimately you will become overweight / obese is a negative outcome but the initial intent was very much positive.  

 

So whenever you do anything and can't understand why you did it, instead of beating yourself up and generally saying you can't believe you did it, think instead of what the benefit was of doing it. When you realise the benefit you can then change the original action next time to still get the benefit, but without the destructive outcome.  

 

When I was big I used to hate being by myself, therefore whenever Jo used to go to work I used to binge eat out of the cupboards in the kitchen. I always said I didn't know why I did it, but the reason I did it was that I was trying to change my emotional state from being lonely to enjoying the food. Now I am slim, I realise that actually I don't like being by myself because I am a sociable chap, so now I chat to my friends on the phone, come on the internet and write a few E-Mails or go on Facebook. Therefore, I have realised the original intent was to stop me being lonely but the way I was doing that was making me very very overweight, now I choose instead to keep in touch with people which gives me the same result but without the negative outcomes.  

 

So remember ultimately everything you do is to help you, whenever you eat when maybe you think you shouldn't, or drink when you shouldn't or put an extra £50 on the overdraft then think , 'what was the benefit of doing that? '   

 

Finally I was explaining this to someone last year and they asked me this question "OK, what was the benefit of being big then Mike?", I sat for a few seconds before answering, "Because people never used to push me about then", it was another revelation to me as I realised that when I was at my biggest I had this hidden benefit in my mind of being some sort of tough guy (which I never was!).  

Book Review - Using Your Brain : For A Change

I am a big fan of Richard Bandler, he was one of the co-creators of NLP and this book is all about how to change your thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Richard is an innovator and a shining light in personal and professional development.

A very easy read as Richard has a very jovial personality and uses humour and wit to deliver powerful metaphors about how to have a better life. I managed to read this book in one sitting and although deep in it's meaning it is very easy to get into and become engrossed.

Part of the book is based on a live transcript which I found very useful and went back to again and again.

This is the kind of book you will read three of four times and still get real value out of before lending it to your friends to read.

 

It isn't cheap, but for me, worth every penny as this is a blueprint for change and really makes you realise that you can be so much more than you are and how your limiting beliefs about yourself hold you back.

 

You can get it at Amazon.co.uk at Using Your Brain : For A Change

To Thyself Be True

'To Thyself Be True'

I say this a lot...and the reason I say this a lot to people I work with and in my own private life is that unless you are being true to yourself then you are living a lie, if you can't even be honest with yourself about where you are in your life, what goals and aspirations you have, what baggage and past you have and what your real issues are then you certainly won't ever solve them or be truly happy and at peace with yourself.

I was chatting on Sunday with a guy who was easily as big as I was when at my biggest, he must have been around 30 stone (450 pounds) and we met socially, he brought up about how I used to be big and then he spent an hour telling me that he eats virtually nothing, that he has fruit during the day and then a healthy meal and yet he can't shift the weight.

Eventually, and I was very patient, I called him on it. I said to him if he wanted the answers then the first thing was to cut the crap and admit you are eating too much. At that weight you have to be consuming thousands and thousands of calories every day to maintain a big body like that and therefore when telling me that you don't eat anything, are you trying to convince me or yourself?

Now I know that sounds tough, and I was pretty on the nose with it, but I did ask him first if he was ok if I offered some honest advice and he was, but you have to be true to yourself, you have to admit that maybe what you are doing now isn't working for you and therefore you need to go and do something else instead.

When I was big I was living with my head in the sand. I was never one to admit my failings and my problems and therefore I just got bigger and bigger and more and more unhappy until eventually my head went pop.

But life isn't about diets, weight, clothes sizes, calories, carbs, and fitness, life is about being who you really are, doing what you want to do and fulfilling your dreams. Nobody laid on their death bed wishing they had done a diet better or beating themselves up because they had a dessert 34 years earlier.

We are on this planet for a brief time and we get one shot at life, if your life isn't what you want it to be then there is only one person who can change that and that is you...and the first step is to admit to yourself that some things need to change.

Nobody Argues With A Big Guy

I spent most of my time working with ladies over guys as the diet industry tends to be that way, and hence I get asked a lot about the differences between men and women and the mindset of both.

 

In general the reasons behind why either sex get big is actually very similar and the more I see different people the more I see the same issues coming up again and again.

 

But, and this is a generalisation, there usually is one big difference between men and women when it comes to being overweight, and it was the same in my case when I was big.

 

For me, being big was useful as it made me believe I was tough as well. Therefore, if anyone wanted to pick on me or my family then I was this big lump of muscle that could protect and save them. The reality of course was totally different, but in my mind I thought if I was slim then I would be weak and hence get picked on. So for me one of the benefits of staying big was that it allowed me to be noticed!

 

Having spoken to a lot of female dieters it tends to be the other way round, by being big they actually perceive themselves as becoming invisible to the world, therefore one of the benefits of being big to them can be that they don't receive unwanted attention from the opposite sex.

 

Now, as I said, this is not the same for everyone. I always look for why people choose to do what they do and hence most people don't look for the benefits of why they are big, or the reasons why they don't really want to be slim.

 

I remember back in April 2006 going into Tesco and returning a CD album. I had just finished reducing weight and asked for my money back as the CD didn't play. The lady refused and said that they wouldn't give me my money back and would only give me a voucher. I suddenly felt very strange, the big Mike would never get refused a refund, I would ask once and get the money and hence suddenly I had lost my "super powers" and I felt helpless.

 

It was actually one of the episodes that really wobbled my foundations. I felt lost in my new body as the benefits of the big me had gone. I just left it and went home but it took me a few days to stop thinking about it.

 

So turning this to you, everyone knows why they should be slim and healthy, I don't think anyone can say that it isn't a good idea to be a good weight, but what if there was a good reason not to be that weight? What if you are a guy and need that perceived toughness? Or a girl that just wants to walk around unnoticed with your 'big' cloak on?

 

If you don't deal with that problem then you are unlikely to get to goal weight. If you do you will find that you don't feel like you expect to. Therefore, really take some time to look inside, do you actually get any benefit of being overweight? Or are you scared of being slim and what that might mean?

 

The good thing of course is by realising what the benefits are then you can replace them! For me, I went to the gym and built up my upper body so I was tougher than I ever was when I was big, and even though I haven't had any trouble since I reduced my weight, I am certainly more capable of running away now than I was then.

 

So, if you do get benefit from being big then what can you do to replace that and allow yourself to be the healthy, happy person you deserve to be?

Measure And Celebrate!

At the start of my diet I set myself up a spreadsheet which had loads of details on it such as weight, collar size, waist size, BMI, water drunk, steps taken, obesity classification, fat percentage etc etc.

Then every day when I trimmed down I filled in the spreadsheet with all my details for the day.

Now when I work 1-2-1 with people I always get them to come up with the BIG GOAL that they want at the end but the important thing is to measure and celebrate along the way with every mini goal.

In my spreadsheet I had enough goals set that I literally would complete one every week while on the journey, one week it may be my waist went in by 2 inches, the next week I dropped from being morbidly obese to obese (I remember that was a good one as morbidly sounded dodgy!), and the next week it might be that my fat percentage had dropped below 40%.

And then each time I got a mini goal I would celebrate! Now that didn't mean I went out and had a nice meal, or spent money on something I couldn't afford, I celebrated inside!! I told myself I was doing a good job and got to feel good about myself as I was succeeding!!!!

So going back to last week's newsletter when I said about setting that big goal, once you have that goal then write it down...

Then set a load of mini goals along the way. A mini goal may be something totally different to you than it is to me! One of mine was to be able to go through the turnstyle at Norwich City because they used to have to let me in the door as I got stuck once, but for you it will be something different.

Then when you have your long list of mini goals then start the journey.

Along the way measure all your stats and all your goals and tick everything off, celebrate every single goal BUT never take your eyes off the big prize...

That way you get to feel good in the short term as you are succeeding but you also get the long term prize as well.

Now some people do have the mini goal celebration technique but where they go wrong is that they allow that to actually stop them getting to the big goal. For example, if they have ten stone to lose then when they lose seven stone they celebrate and think they have done so well that they actually stop dieting and don't ever finish what they started.

So as I said BIG FINAL PRIZE! Loads of little tiny MINI goals along the way but always with a view on the bigger picture.

You don't need Excel to do this of course but I found it really useful as I could do little graphs of my weight, BMI etc to remind myself how well I was doing.

And ultimately by doing all the above it creates a plan! It creates a path in your mind of where you are going and I do find some dieters dream of being slim but won't spend an hour doing a plan on a bit of paper or a computer of how they are going to measure and celebrate it.

Book Review - Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life: A Kick-butt Approach to a Better Life

I bought Shut Up, Stop Whining & Get A Life at the recommendation of one of my newsletter readers last year.

I have never been a fan of the 'in your face' approach but this interested me greatly as I always like to be as flexible with my counselling skills as I can be and sometimes a certain type of person does require the 'bluntness' that this book offers.

The first thing to say is that although Larry 'tells it how it is' he also clearly deeply cares that you get the results you crave, even if that means you don't particulary like him or his techniques afterwards.

The book itself states

Internationally renowned success philosopher, business speaker, and humorist, Larry Winget offers advice that flies in the face of conventional self–help. He believes that the motivational speakers and self–help gurus seem to have forgotten that the operative word in self–help is "self." That is what makes this book so different. Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life forces all responsibility for every aspect of your life right where it belongs—on you. For that reason, this book will make you uncomfortable. Winget won′t let you escape to the excuses that we all find so comforting. The only place you are allowed to go to place the blame for everything that has ever happened to you is to the mirror. The last place most of us want to go.

Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life is simply a self–help book like no other. It takes on every idea you hold sacred. It trashes the motivational platitudes we have all grown up with and learned to trust. Larry attacks the importance of a positive attitude, the sanctity of marriage, sex, religion, fitness, friendship, money, stress, and happiness. This is anything but conventional wisdom, yet makes so much sense that his ideas are nearly impossible to argue with.

Larry Winget, also known as The Pitbull of Personal Development®, is confrontational in his style, direct in his approach, irritational in his manner, yet Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life is still hilarious. You will find yourself laughing out loud as he discusses his frustration with people who refuse to take responsibility for their lives and their results. Yet the most interesting part of this book is Winget′s emphasis on the importance of love and service to others. He explains that these two factors are the key to all success, happiness, and prosperity in both your personal and professional life.

You probably won′t agree with all Larry Winget says in this one–of–a–kind book. You may not like the concepts and ideas he believes will change your life. Winget doesn′t care. His ideas aren′t for everyone and he readily admits that. He just wants you to look at your life and your business, and if you aren′t totally happy with your results, then give his advice a try. If it works, you are way ahead. If it doesn′t, you haven′t lost anything.

For me this book is perfect for those that do want their advice straight to the point and don't do the softly softly approach that most self help genre books go for.The book is ideal for a quick 5 minute read and to put a lot of the real world advice into practical use and see some results.

The basics of the book are look at your life now and change what isn't working for you, but the key is to accept when things really aren't working and to do something about it. This is especially valid in the dieting world where a lof of us plug away at the same diet time and time again and accepting that it isn't going to work for you is the key to moving on.

Out of 10 I would give this book 9 and purely not a 10 as for me the 'brutal' nature of the advice isn't quite my thing. A great read though and is is available from Amazon by clicking here

Don't Blame Me For Your Success

I have been working with a guy who wanted to stop smoking. I met him last night and it's now been two months since he last had a cigarette and he told me, in his own eyes, he is officially a non-smoker.

I reminded him that he was a non-smoker two months ago when he stopped and just how well he had done.

He then said 'It's all down to you Mike...'

To which I immediately replied 'Don't blame me for your success...'

And I really meant it. People are always looking for someone else to help them but ultimately you have all the resources inside you to create whatever success you want to, and you certainly don't need somebody else to do it for you.

When I work with people I always say I am helping them help themselves as that is the key. I can tour guide anyone on how to reduce their weight but ultimately it is always the choice of the client on whether they trim down or not. I spent years looking for the secret of how to lose weight but I was always looking outside and never inside, but inside is where the real answers are.

The reason I joke by saying 'don't blame me for your success' is to make people realise that they created it, I have seen some people literally halve in size (and in one case third in size!) and it is so important that they realise that the magic was inside as ultimately if they want to go on and maintain long term (which is what it is all about!), then they need to realise they have all the knowledge and skills required to do it themselves.

Sure I can lock you in my basement for a few months if you want to trim down but when you get out and go on to maintain then nobody can be with you when you stand in the supermarket and decide between pizza or a vegetable stir fry for dinner, nobody can make the decision in Starbucks on whether you go skinny or not and nobody can stop you buying something when you fill up with petrol and nibbling it in the car on the way home.

So next time you trim down a few pounds or have a great week then take the blame for it yourself! Sure others may have helped but you were the one that did it so rejoice in your success.

I Just Want To Be Normal

When I was big I was desperate to be 'normal'. I was desperate to be just like everyone else. I was desperate to be able to wear the same clothes as everyone else, to be treated like everyone else and not to stand out because of my size.

I wanted to be normal so much that I used to cry myself to sleep and dream of being someone else. I wanted to be the stereotypical normal person who was 12 stone, 5ft 10in, brown hair, 32 inch waist and then I could be happy.

But then this strange thing happened, I became 'normal'. I got to the perfect BMI and I was absolutely normal....

And I hated it!

I wanted to be normal but then when I got it I wanted to be unique and be myself and not conform to everyone else's opinions of what I should be, and therefore I rebelled against it.

So turning this to you? Do you really want to be normal? Or do you want to be yourself? Because I would say that you being yourself means you living your life, to your rules, in your way and then welcoming those you care about to share the real you.

I literally spent my entire 20's not being the real me, I would be so scared of upsetting people or saying the wrong thing that I used to feel terrible all the time and would eat to cheer up. Not any more! I am just the real unique me, and if you like me then great, if you don't like me then great! I won't be somebody I am not anymore and I certainly am not normal!

So rejoice in the fact you are unique, I cleared the path last night of weeds with a weedkiller gun and the whole time I was pretending to be James Bond, now that may make me stupid, childish and not normal in some people's eyes but I don't have to look through their eyes and I enjoyed it so I don't care!

The Average Dieter

The average dieter needs to eat 2000 calories a day.

The average dieter needs to eat less than 6 grams of salt a day.

The average dieter needs to drink 2.25 litres of water a day.

The average dieter needs no more than 70 grams of fat a day.

The average dieter is female.

The average dieter is 5ft 4ins.

The average dieter has brown eyes, dark brown shoulder length hair and enjoys jigsaws and romantic comedy films.

The average dieter is trimming down for a two week holiday in Majorca leaving late August.

The average dieter is called Jane

Now just how average are you?

I was reading an article last night in the paper talking about overweight people and how the average dieter consumes xxx calories and weighs xxxx and I just kept thinking 'so what!'

I have worked with thousands of dieters over the past five years and sure I can see trends and generalisations but there is no such thing as an average dieter in terms of why people got big, why they are struggling to trim down and why they do what they do.

We are all incredibly complex beings with loads of facets to our personalities and therefore our behaviours. But you certainly aren't 'average' or 'normal' because that limits you so much in what you can do.

You are UNIQUE, you can tread and create your own success and sure it helps when you can watch others and get advice from people but ultimately only one person is the expert of you and that is YOU!

When I work with people they have all the answers and all the solutions to all of their 'problems.' When they are being honest with themselves they know exactly why they got big, they know exactly why they struggle sometimes and are more than aware that their limiting beliefs about themselves and their world is what holds them back in their weight loss journey.

So my advice as we head into the weekend is never accept being average! Never accept being told by everyone else what you should do, never aim at normal and never go for mediocre.

If anybody tries to tell you that you are average or that you should be doing 1823 calories on a Wednesday to get slim then tell them that you appreciate their input but you are the real expert of you and therefore you will do what you want to do.

You are amazing and if you don't believe me then deal with that limiting belief first!

Depression Linked To Obesity

There was an study released yesterday that has linked depression to obesity.

"We found that in a sample of young adults during a 15-year period, those who started out reporting high levels of depression gained weight at a faster rate than others in the study, but starting out overweight did not lead to changes in depression," said assistant Professor of Sociology Belinda Needham, from University of Alabama at Birmingham (UAB).

"Our study is important because if you are interested in controlling obesity, and ultimately eliminating the risk of obesity-related diseases, then it makes sense to treat people's depression.

"It's another reason to take depression seriously and not to think about it just in terms of mental health, but to also think about the physical consequences of mental health problems," Needham added.

The full news article can be found at Study confirms depression, abdominal obesity link

Now the reason I agree with this study so much and why it interested me is that many overweight who are depressed think the reason they are depressed is that they are overweight.

When I was at my very biggest I can remember standing crying in my bedroom saying to my wife that if only I could lose weight I would be happy and that everything was perfect in my life and it was just the weight that was making me so sad.

But it's not true! If the only thing that depressed you was your weight and therefore you eat more then you would never have got big in the first place.

I believe that everyone eats for more than nutrition, everyone eats for the emotional benefit food gives them, now that might be to celebrate, commiserate, comfort, boredom and loads of other reasons but they will all be about making you happy.

Therefore if you can sort out the 'being happy' thing then everything else will fall into place.

I still get people say that they just like food too much or that they just have a lifestyle where they eat and drink a lot and therefore it isn't about emotion.

But ultimately we all know that being overweight is not good for your physical or mental health and therefore why would you choose to make yourself overweight ?

The diet and health industry needs to lifts it's head and start working with people holistically if you really want to create the long term results we all crave and I am glad this study agrees with that.

Preventative / Goal Orientated Motivation

The Oxford English dictionary has motivation down as 'the reason or reasons behind one’s actions or behaviour.' and the reasons when it comes to dieting and trimming down are absolutely key.

Motivation comes in two flavours, but from experience, only one of those two flavours of motivation really works long term.

The first type is preventative motivation. It is the kind of motivation that most dieters attempt to use to succeed and is based around avoiding things through losing weight. So for example, if you are scared of dying young, scared of what others will say when they see you big, wanting to trim down so you don't get diabetes or so that you don't look big at your wedding then you are getting motivated by what you DON'T want. 

It is the same as people who go to work so they can pay their bills and to put food on the table, it is a preventative motivation when you are doing all you can NOT to be broke, NOT to be hungry and NOT to be in trouble.

But the problem with this kind of motivation is two-fold. Firstly, you have to think about what you don't want. In other words, if you are trying to get slim so you don't die younger then you have to think about dying and therefore feel bad, and because you then feel bad you can be driven back to the food you were trying to avoid in the first place.

The other problem with preventative motivation is the further you get down the path the less you want it. If you have 100 pounds to lose then you really want it, after you have trimmed off 50 pounds of the 100, because you aren't as big and aren't as likely to get illnesses and generally feel better, the motivation can just go. It is what I call a glass floor because you don't realise it's there and you can't get through it. I see it many times with dieters, for some reason 147 pounds (10 and a half stone) seems to be the motivation loss point for absolutely loads of female dieters when they are close enough to being slim to not really have the motivation anymore to finish off the job.

The other type of motivation is goal orientated motivation and is based on what you DO want. It is wanting to be slim as opposed to not wanting to be fat, it is about having a prize in the future and the closer you get to the prize the more you want it. It is when you set a positive goal that makes you immediately feel happy and excited when you think about it, it is like Christmas when you are excited in October, more excited in November, absolutely up for it in December but the night before Christmas day is when you are most excited and can't wait for the big day to arrive.

Now too many dieters focus on the negative, away from, preventative reasons for losing weight, it is all about having to lose weight and needing to lose weight, but the key to making it long term is to want to lose weight and be excited and enthusiastic about the journey to get down to goal weight but also to see all the positive reasons for staying trim when you get there.

If when you talk about diets and dieting your shoulders drop, your voice becomes dull and you generally hate it, then from experience you won't last very long. But if you can just see all the good stuff in the future and focus on a goal then you will be so much more successful.

So Just How Important Is Exercise To Maintain Weight

I was chatting with someone last night who was asking me if I now exercised every day to stay slim, if I had some mad exercise regime at the gym where I banged out a 500 calorie treadmill run before work every morning and that, ultimately, was it impossible to maintain weight without exercise?

Now I have read loads of articles that say that it is statistically impossible to maintain weight without exercise but it isn't true! Of course you can maintain weight without exercise but it means you won't be able to have as many calories as if you were exercising!

When I broke my ankle last year I couldn't do any sport for months as my ankle was so weak so I just ate a bit less and my weight never changed.

Now if we are talking more than just weight and instead talking fitness and health then of course exercise is a great idea. I love playing sport now but I don't do it to maintain weight. I do it because I enjoy it and it means I am fit and healthy to be able to do everything else in my life.

I went to a gym for years believing that exercise was the key but I just got bigger. I would eat more out of the vending machine on the way back to the car then I ever did power floating in the swimming pools or lifting up weights thinking they were going to get me slim.

So what I am saying here is that you should exercise, but do something you enjoy (personally I don't like gyms at all!) but I love bowling, badminton and table tennis so I do that instead. When I used to be big and go to the gym I used to hate treadmills. I would do a 40 minute run and absolutely detest it, therefore I would force myself to go for a week or two but then manage to find really good reasons not to go and eventually gave it up. So, to do exercise long term, along with any other interest!, the key is to find something you enjoy and do that instead. I recently played somebody at table tennis for 3 hours straight, not because I was panicking about my weight but because it was just a brilliant game and we were so closely matched that we wanted to play all night.

But don't think that you MUST do loads of exercise to be slim, if you have a desk job like I do and can't exercise every five minutes then it's a choice you need to eat less than a builder who plays football five nights a week after work or you will start to put weight on.

And of course exercise doesn't just mean doing something formal, walking is exercise, gardening is exercise, anything that gets your heart beating is exercise so don't wait to plan some huge gym adventure, just get more active and burn more calories.

Exercise is great, but i've never met anyone who maintains long term by NEEDING to go to the gym to do it.

The Angel And The Devil In Me

When I was a big guy I constantly had these battles going on in my head. The good Mike wanted to be nice, slim, healthy and happy but the nasty Mike wanted to be angry, eat what I liked and be at war with everything and everyone. I constantly fought a battle with myself to do anything, I would see something I wanted to eat and nasty Mike would say JUST DO IT! Nice Mike would try and cut in with how unhealthy it was, but depending what mood I was in, I would listen to one of them and ignore the other, and it was usually nasty Mike that won.

I was totally at war with myself. The problem I had was that the part of me that wanted to eat was mainly unconcious, in other words I felt like I was impulsed to eat and that it was actually a habit that I was struggling to stop. The reality was that it was a learnt behaviour to overeat that I had been doing for so long that it was 'just the way I was' and therefore I would eat without conciously even thinking about it, when someone offered me a cake I didn't used to debate it, I would just say yes, eat it and then feel bad afterwards.

But the nice Mike that wanted to be slim and healthy was a concious person in my head talking away, and it was fighting a real battle with the other Mike and, ultimately, I was losing as I got bigger and bigger and more unhappy.

I see this more and more now as I work with people. They have a huge conflict going on in their heads as part of them wants to keep overeating for all the emotional benefit they get from food and part of them wants to be slim and healthy and therefore they are at war with themselves.

They flick between being really positive and motivated to be slim to believing they are destined to be overweight for the rest of their lives and they are a failure. They allow the battle to bash away at their self-esteem until they feel so confused and depressed about their weight that they feel like there is no long term solution and they are riding the diet train for the rest of their lives.

But there is an answer (trumpets sound!) with the first thing being to realise that there is no good or bad you, there is no real conflict going on as there is only one you! The real you is the lovely you that knows you are a good person really, knows you deserve the good things in life and that you are perfect, it just happens over the years that you have picked up some rubbish and garbage which means you believe that you aren't that diamond that the real you knows you are.

So lets analyse bad Mike, naughty Mike and nasty Mike, what did that part of me really want? It wanted me to eat and drink and smoke and gamble so that I could be happier, it knew that by me having a packet of crisps that just for a split second I felt better than I did before, therefore bad Mike actually wanted me to happy!

And then good Mike, well good Mike wants me to be slim and healthy so that I can go on and enjoy my life and be happy!

But wait a minute? They both want me to be happy? Then why is there a conflict?

The only reason there is a problem is that the strategies that good and bad Mike were using don't work with each other but the overall highest intention is the same which is to be happy.

And ultimately that's what we all want, to be happy being who we really are, and we will always try and get there even if the behaviours to get there seem really negative i.e. overeating and putting on weight.

So pick your behaviours carefully but never question your overall intention which is always to be happy.

And then the conflict will stop, I don't now have that internal battle anymore and therefore life is a lot quieter in my head! Battling yourself can only ever mean one person loses and that is you and therefore don't beat yourself up, just accept you are who you are, decide what behaviours you want to change and then go ahead and change them.

Remember you are a diamond, you may just need to polish yourself to prove it.

Book Review - Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) Workbook for Dummies

I first came across the NLP Workbook for Dummies back in 2008 when I picked up a copy at an airport. I was never a fan of the 'dummies' guides as my perception was that they were condescending by calling me a dummy!

But I picked this up and flicked through and liked what I saw so I grabbed a copy and a pen and worked my way through it.

This is a real hands on book that invites you through loads of little exercises to understand why you do what you do and if you decide to change it.

I filled this in in about a week and found the contents absolutely inspiring and very eye opening even though I had already done extensive training in the subject area.

This book covers

Getting Your Mindset Right with NLP

Setting Sound Goals

Recognising Your Unconscious Values

Recognising How You Distort Thinking  

Developing Personal Rapport

Managing Your Emotions and Experiences

Changing Habits and Modeling Success

Recognizing What Works

Adapting Language with Metamodeling and the Milton Model

Assess your thought patterns and develop a positive mindset

Communicate confidently and effectively

Build rapport

Manage your emotions

Break away from bad habits

Set goals and achieve success

It is a really journey on the inside and at the end you are left with a goal and a plan of how to get there and then the book urges you to take action.

Anyway very strongly recommended and I would give this book a good 9.5 out of 10.

It is available at a great price from Amazon at NLP Workbook For Dummies

What You Think To Be True You Will Prove To Be True

Changing Your Thoughts Will Change Your Reality

 

Robert Anton Wilson wrote an excellent book called 'Prometheus Rising', where he stated that the human mind has two major parts. The first part is the thinker that decides what you think and how you think. The second part is the prover which takes those thoughts and proves them to be correct.

 

When I read this last year it hit a big note with me in terms of how dieters talk, and how they perceive themselves. The thinker part of the brain is very flexible in what it can think. It can change it's mind at the flick of a switch, but the prover is much more rigid and will always go on the current thought of the dieter.

 

If someone says they are "useless" at dieting, the prover part of the mind will go away and try and prove that. It will pick up on all the failures in the past and present and will do all it can to reinforce the though that the person is useless. It will look for all the negatives in what the dieter does, and will enhance and magnify every error and distort and generalise those errors so the dieter is absolutely convinced they were right to start with.

 

If you think of someone who is "lucky", because they think they are lucky the prover will go and prove that. Therefore they will concentrate on the one scratchcard they won on, or the one time they won £20 on a football result. Therefore, they are focusing on the good stuff and are feeling the feelings of success.

 

If you think you are generally "unlucky", the prover will go and prove that by showing that you have never won the national lottery jackpot, and that it will remember every time you didn't win! Therefore focusing on the negative stuff and you then will feel those feelings.

 

Most people who have dieted long term perceive themselves to be out of control with their eating, or a failure, or unable to actually be slim. Therefore, if you think that, then you are likely to do all you can to prove it!

 

I thought I was totally useless at dieting before I finally decided that I could actually be good at it! When I changed my mind and my thoughts to actually think I could be slim, then my mind went and proved I could be slim by focusing on all the positives and all the good stuff I was achieving.

 

The last time I dieted when I reduced all my excess weight I loved it! I enjoyed the diet the whole way through, I was proving myself right the whole way by focusing on smaller clothes, compliments, looks, and how I felt. For the first time I was proving I was a success and not a total failure.

 

The internal feelings and thoughts you have about yourself will be actualised in the results you see. If you think you'll fail then you will! If you think you'll succeed then you will!

 

If you want to prove this, then today, have the though that there are more red cars on the roads than any other colour of car. Technically, it is actually true! But, more than that, now you know it is true you will suddenly find you notice it more as your prover kicks in to prove that you were right! I guarantee if you remember it when you are in the car going shopping today you will see red cars coming from all angles!!

 

So, how do you change a thought that is holding you back, you may ask?

 

Write down a belief about yourself that is not helping you. For example, "I am rubbish at eating healthy food."

 

Look for evidence that the belief is actually wrong. Blow the belief out of your head and replace it with one that you are actually very good at eating healthy food. Go and prove to yourself that you can be.

 

I always said that I was a big guy forever and I spent 20 years proving that. The day I decided to think I was slim was the day I started proving it.

So Why Aren't We All Slim Yet ?

I was standing in the chemists yesterday listening to the lady on the counter selling the latest diet craze over from Australia to the two customers standing there. She was telling them that this diet was the answer to their dreams as it allowed them to have six meals a day and still lose weight incredibly quickly. She was telling them that the difference between this diet and other diets was the fact you weren't ever hungry on this diet and that you can continue to do this diet long term to maintain your weight.

I am going to have to get on my soapbox now!

Firstly, the lady trying to convince them to do the diet was actually considerably bigger than they were, therefore if this diet really was the answer to the world's obesity crisis then why wasn't the lady slim?

Secondly, I don't diet anymore! I think any diet that tells you that you can do it long term is purely doing it for it's financial gain and not your dieting health, you don't need to diet to maintain weight! Sure, you need to follow a well planned diet to get down to goal weight, if you have a lot of weight to trim off then a diet, that is recommended by your doctor, is essential as part of the plan, but once you get to goal weight then give up dieting and do something more fun instead.

Thirdly, if this diet really was the key to everything then why is it since this diet has launched in it's home country there are more obese people than there were before? I mean it is 2010, we have more diets than ever before, we have more gyms, fitness DVD's, exercise equipment, books, information and knowledge than at any time in history and yet there are more overweight people than ever before, the logic doesn't add up! If diets were the answer then surely the more diet options there were then the fewer big people there would be ?

And that's my point! Diets are great, they do a job but they aren't the total answer, they are merely one piece of the emotional/physical jigsaw that makes us up. Dieting in isolation of the rest of your emotional life is impossible.

More On Motivation...

As a society, we have become very negative and it can be very easy to join the group of people who only look for problems and what isn't right with the world and our lives. It can be difficult to be a positive person when everyone around you isn't. Your mind can become unfocused, your dreams lose momentum and your motivation vanishes.

The biggest thing to stop motivation is lack of self-confidence. We all want to do so many good things but when those things don't happen we blame past failures, bad luck or that we are just useless and doomed to be failures. When we keep reinforcing to ourselves that we are a failure then our minds become clouded with self doubt and your self esteem takes another little kick. The more we believe we are destined not to succeed, the more procrastination comes in and we freeze our lives because we don't want to fail yet again.

The answer to this though is to understand and accept that sometimes things don't go your way. Sometimes you will have a bad day and sometimes you won't but you weren't born to fail, you don't always have bad luck and you certainly don't need to diet for the rest of your life!

John Paul Getty, who was one of the richest men that ever lived, made his fortune during the great depression, while everyone else was focusing on just how bad everything was he was focusing on making a great success and regardless of how many times he failed he dived back up and kept going.

If you focus on your past accomplishments and not your past failures then you will realise you are capable of achieving so much more than you think you can. To focus more on what you can do, make a list of things you have done in your life that have been a blazing success, whenever you doubt your abilities and skills then look at the list just to remind yourself how successful you have been.

Believe You Can, Believe You Can't, Either Way You'll Be Right...

The Inner Conditions for Authentic Happiness

I saw a fantastic video earlier on on Google videos which I can strongly recommend

If happiness is an inner state, influenced by external conditions but not dependent on them, how can we achieve it? Ricard will examine the inner and outer factors that increase or diminish our sense of well-being, dissect the underlying mechanisms of happiness, and lead us to a way of looking at the mind itself based on his book, Happiness: A Guide to Life's Most Important Skill and from the research in neuroscience on the effect of mind-training on the brain.

Speaker Bio: Matthieu Ricard, a gifted scientist turned Buddhist monk, is a best selling author, translator, and photographer. He has lived and studied in the Himalayas for the last 35 years where he currently works on humanitarian projects. He is an active participant in the current scientific research on meditation and the brain.

It is a 60 minute video but I thought it was great and strongly recommended.

Six Motivation Tips For A Tuesday !

 Tuesday is always a great day for coming up with plans and changing your life.

My top motivation tips for this lovely summer's Tuesday are.

1. Create the dream - You need a dream whether that is to live to 100, be a size 12, be happy, live abroad, own a Ferrari, swim the channel or fly to the moon. Without a dream then you can't fire up your motivation and motivation is needed to take action. If you really have a dream that you want then you will go and create it.

2. PMA - Positive Mental Attitude, it is very true that people rarely do anything that they don't want to do and don't enjoy and therefore keeping a PMA is absolutely key. It doesn't mean you have to spend your life with a permanent smile or that you can never have a 'bad' day but if you can keep looking for the good things then you will find it.

3. Consistency - The key to creating a sculpture masterpiece is to tap it a million times, it is key when you are trimming down in weight that you find something that works and then you repeat, repeat and repeat again. Doing a diet for three days, not dieting for two days, moving from low carb to no carb then back to couting points won't create success. Therefore find something that you know works and stick to it, and never get discouraged and doubt the outcome.

4. Climbing a mountain starts with the first step - Planning and creating the dream is key but then taking action is the answer, the most successful people will always take the next step and sure they may fail but they bounce straight back up and then take another step. It is absolutely key to keep going down the path you have mapped yourself on and every day take a step nearer and nearer.