"Inside me lives a skinny person crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies" -- Erma Bombeck
Have you ever heard the Tale of Two Dieters? Probably not, because the story originated in my head and this is the first time I've really shared it in depth. But if I do say so myself, it's is an excellent story because it's about YOU! Yes, it's a tale of TWO dieters and I'm pretty sure one of them lives inside your skin. The reason this is a tale of two dieters is because there are really only two schools of thought when it comes to dieting...
A small percentage of dieters make a commitment to losing weight and then get the job done. They are ones all the other dieters love to hate! The other group constantly fights the never-ending battle of willpower versus "won't power" and act as if their weight loss plan was court-ordered in lieu of hard time in Pentonville. Ask yourself? Which group are you in? If you replied "The second group, your Honour," you're going to love reading this story! But even if you're in the first group, you'll enjoy this story as well because it will give you something to gloat about and show to your friends who are grudgingly serving out their court ordered diets!
Dieting Takes Willpower - Big Lie!
Let's start with examining the willpower lie. Willpower kicks in when you force yourself to do something you'd rather not be doing. It takes willpower to drag yourself out of bed to get ready for work. Early morning golf game? No willpower required. It takes willpower to spend the day cleaning out your loft space to have a car boot sale. Getting up to go shopping at a car boot sale? No willpower required.
So if dieting requires willpower for you, it means there is a conflict between that skinny person crying to get out and that plate of cookies calling your name. What's really going on is that you are paying lip service to wanting to lose weight, but you don't really believe it inside. Part of you wants to be slim but part of you wants to keep getting the emotional benefit that food gives you. That happens a lot. A friend of mine said he wanted to quit smoking. He was "getting ready to get ready" as he liked to say.
The reasons he gave for quitting was the pressure he was getting from his wife and children. The kids would hammer him with whatever they learned in school about the dangers of smoking that day, and his wife was playing the "go ahead and kill yourself and leave us broke and out on the street" card. He'd quit for a few days and start back up. This cycle repeated itself over and over. He even quit for 3 months, but then fell right back.
THREE MONTHS and yet he started smoking again. When I asked him why, here's what he said.
"I guess I'm not really committed to quitting. It's a daily struggle. I spend every minute of the day wanting a cigarette. I look for any excuse to start smoking again. One day my wife and I had an argument. I figured 'I'll show her' and went out and bought a pack of cigarettes."
It's the same story with dieting. If you're trying to lose weight to please your spouse, children, doctor or friends, you're waging the willpower battle. And the only way to negotiate a peace settlement in that war is to stop trying to please everyone else and make a commitment to losing weight simply because you want to. When you reach that state of mind, the statement "dieting takes willpower" becomes a lie. Because it doesn't take any willpower at all. Eating healthy and getting the proper amount of exercise becomes a simple lifestyle choice. Just like meeting your mates at the golf course, or taking off on a car boot sale shopping spree, losing weight becomes something you look forward to doing.
Is it all really as simple as that?
No. Yes; I mean it can be. But reaching the state of mind where you banish the need for willpower from your dieting routine doesn't come naturally to everyone. And if you're honest with yourself, you know that it doesn't come naturally to you. That is, of course, unless you're reading this story simply so you can realise the journey you have been on. The best way to reach the "ah ha" moment when you free yourself from your court ordered sentence and walk into a weight loss plan of your own free will, is to associate with people who are already living the lifestyle you're seeking.
And isn't that true about anything worth achieving? Think about it. If you want to learn how to accumulate wealth, would you seek out people who are buried in debt and living from month to month on their credit cards, or would you be better off associating with people who possess excellent money management skills?
When the student is ready - the teacher appears. I want to make you an offer. But first, let me tell you how the Tale of Two Dieters came to be written. I first encountered the two types of dieters when I was in the process of slimming down. I reduced my weight by over 160 pounds back in 2005/2006 and haven't dieted since and yet I am still at goal weight. The reason is I dealt with the reasons WHY I ate and not WHAT I ate.
Interacting with clients in person, and over the web, gave me an opportunity to observe two very different types of dieter personalities. One personality type was constantly saying "losing weight is hard." They hated dieting. They hated being big. They hated the fact that nothing fit them. They hated being started at. They hated, this, that and the other thing. Their lives were filled with hate and negative emotions. And it showed. They tended to rarely smile, and when I met them they were obviously unhappy people.
But the second personality type was very different. They saw losing weight as a choice they had freely made. They choose to be slim; they choose to be healthy and they choose to take control. They smiled, laughed and socialized. All of this despite that fact that their clothes didn't fit well either and some people would stare at them because of their weight. I was definitely in this second category and absolutely loved the fact that I was becoming slim. I laughed and smiled my way through it and always said that I could eat whenever and whatever I liked, but I was choosing not to as I valued being slim and healthy more than that plate of cookies.
Sure, I wasn't Pollyanna. I didn't laugh and slap my thighs throughout the entire experience, but I never became filled with hate and resentment. I had tried to get slim for twenty years by using willpower and hating diets and it never worked for more than a few months. My new found attitude not only got me down to my weight goal, it's been largely responsible for keeping me there.
